Saturday 28 December 2013

Generation gap

With the going of one generation, comes the next generation. This is a simple fact of life, also could be put as 'cycle of life'. There are generations in each family. The eldest (grandparents), a little junior (our parents, uncles, aunts etc) and the next generation (kids). These are 3 generations, oldest, current and upcoming. These determine the future of EVERYTHING. Look around in your family and you shall certainly see a difference in the behavior, characteristics, way of life - each generation has got it's unique way of living.

It was the usual Christmas evening, spent with family, talking and discussing on various topics. THERE, came the topic of discussion - the generation gap, why does it get created?

My sister has a son, whose 3 years old, a little naughty but that's understandable at his age. His parents at times lose their temper and scold him in front of everyone, he's too small to understand what they're saying so he persists with what he's doing, to which his father said that he's getting 'disobedient'. My uncle very rightly pointed out : when a kid is very young (3-6) years of age, he/she is really sensitive. If you scold him/her in front of all the family, he will go into a shell and a gap between parents and the kid may get created at this very young age.

My sister and her husband agreed to the point my uncle made and realized that they must not scold their only son in front of everyone. My uncle continued and also added that if a child makes mistake - do not unnecessarily show anger to him. If you get too angry with him at this young age, the chances are that when he/she grows - he/she may not even fear your anger because he/she will get used to it.

My father to which made a very sensitive and I believe very valid point : the best way to judge how close your children are to you, is - when you come from office and IF your children wait for you/open the door for you - the communication is very strong. On the flip side of which, if you come from office and your children silently go to their respective rooms, not willing to spend much time - THEN something's wrong.

My father added further that to him, I'm his BEST friend and if your child is your best friend - that's THE perfect relationship. Understandably so because then a child will not hide anything from his/her parents  and there'll be no possibility of a communication gap.

Everyone was agreeing to each others views and adding their own in the process. My uncle and father both explained that how my grandfather, only few times, used to get really angry but he NEVER allowed a situation to arise where his 4 sons would get angry with him - a situation where a gap may be created between a father and his 4 sons, NEVER did this happen. He showed his anger with his words and after 5 minutes, forgot everything and went to his sons and made them understand everything, only this time very calmly - THIS made a difference. My father along with his 3 brothers understood better when a calm route was taken and not when an aggressive route was taken.

That's pretty much it. Discussion on a topic which can be endless but plenty of good views coming in, not many contradictions. What are your views on this? If you've got anything to add, please do so. I look forward to hearing from you. :)

5 comments:

  1. It is nice that such discussions happen in your family in the present day & times when people seem to be too busy to meet in the first place, I liked the lines- "everyone was agreeing to each others views and adding their own in the process" And yes a lot of what they discussed make sense. You seem to naturally pick up good things from the ordinary everyday life. Keep up the good work.
    Best wishes & happy new year

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  2. I agree fear repels and love attracts. Parents have to wisely handle such situations.

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  3. Healthy discussions should always be welcomed....
    Nice blog... :)

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  4. Nice Aditya! Many parents need to realize this as humiliating the child isn't good. Kids can be explained nicely and they can follow :)

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  5. I told you this is what would happen, no kid wants to hear this from the parent. The child will feel like opening up and sharing only when he or she feels that they wont be judged but will surely be helped.

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